The Grief and Grace of Late-Diagnosis ADD
“It’s too late for me.”
I’ve said those words more times than I can count.
Not out loud, maybe. But under my breath, in the quiet moments. In the overwhelmed moments. In the spaces between the hope I feel… and the fear that still lingers.
I was 63 when I found out I had ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder).
And suddenly — so much made sense.
The missed deadlines.
The half-finished projects.
Sneaking away as a kid to fall asleep in random places because of overwhelm.
The bursts of creativity followed by crushing burnout.
The shame I carried without knowing its name.
But once the diagnosis settled in, something unexpected happened:
I grieved. And HARD.
Grieving the Years That Feel Lost
No one really talks about the grief that can come after finally figuring yourself out.
I looked back and saw decades of overcompensating.
Decades of believing I just wasn’t trying hard enough.
Decades of internalized failure.
And I mourned what could have been — the dreams I didn’t pursue, the confidence I didn’t get to feel, the systems I never knew to put in place.
There’s a unique pain in realizing you’ve been living with a misunderstood brain for a lifetime.
And that pain often speaks in the voice of resignation, and let’s not forget about the shame:
“You should have figured this out sooner.”
“It’s too late to change now.”
“Why bother starting over at your age?”
Why It’s Not Too Late (Even If It Feels That Way)
Here’s what I want to say to you, and to the part of me that still whispers doubt:
It’s not too late.
Not to heal.
Not to grow.
Not to build something that honors who you are now — and who you’ve always been beneath the masking.
Late-diagnosed women are some of the most resilient people I know. We’ve spent a lifetime adapting. Navigating the world with grit and creativity. We already know how to rebuild — we just need permission to do it differently.
And that’s where the grace comes in.
You don’t have to go fast.
You don’t have to do it like everyone else.
You just have to start from where you are. Right here, right now.
What I’m Learning (and Want to Share With You)
Since my diagnosis, I’ve been slowly rebuilding — my habits, my self-concept, my career path, and even my income streams.
Not by hustling.
But by tuning in.
By listening to what my beautifully wired brain actually needs to thrive.
And I’m sharing what I learn in a gentle newsletter for women like us. It’s called Perfectly Scattered — a name that used to feel like an insult but now feels like an invitation.
If this post resonates with you — if you’ve ever felt like you were too late — I invite you to join me there.
We’re not broken.
We’re not behind.
We’re just beautifully wired.
And it’s not too late.
➡️ Subscribe to Perfectly Scattered — a newsletter for late-diagnosed women with ADD who are ready to create, heal, and earn in ways that actually work for their brains.
